Ryl Madol is not just a nightmare for its brave explorers but also for the average taxonomists, whether they study the animals live on the island or preserved in formaldehyde from the safety of their comfy university offices. Evolution has taken its very own unique path here, often with entire groups which are elsewhere only known from fossils. The end result are thus forms and combinations which defy all of our anatomical borders.
One of the most enigmatic of these is little Orthrocaris antebabylonensis, or Insanity Fish, curiously often found swimming within the pools and swamps which form at the center of the ancient, ruined plazas and their flooded sewers. There can be no other way than to simply describe it as a chimaera. At the front, a soft, bivalved, gill-bearing carapace, very much like in a phyllocarid crustacean, gives rise to two segmented arms and a head with two compound-eyes. So far, so arthropod. But then the mouth is ringed by four or more unsegmented little tentacles, very much like in a cephalopod. The hidden mouth itself is a single claw-shaped mandible similar to that of a velvet worm. Behind the carapace then emerges an elongated, eel-like body, with a dorsal and ventral fin running down its length. Though this body is soft, on the inside it contains a stabilizing organ which unmistakably resembles the chorda dorsalis of our own phylum. What can be said of such a creature which wildly mixes traits or arthropods, cephalopods and chordates? It is the invertebrate(?) equivalent of a platypus.
That nobody has been quite able to shoehorn this little monster into any taxonomical drawer is not surprising. Some claim the arthropodal characteristics outweigh the others, arguing that this may be some archaic member of that phylum that simply evolved the other traits through convergent evolution. Others argue that a chorda dorsalis classifies Orthrocaris automatically within the Chordata. The truth may literally lie somewhere in-between. Some have noted a resemblance to the Cambrian organism Nectocaris, which used to be similarly reconstructed as a chordate with the head of a bug. However, these reconstructions have long been deemed erroneous, as better-preserved fossils of the organism instead suggest that Nectocaris looked more like a flattened, two-tentacled squid. The resemblance to old reconstructions may thus only be a coincidence. Others have suggested a possible affinity of Orthrocaris to the Vetulicolia, who did greatly resemble an odd mix of arthropod and chordate. The cladistic placement of Vetulicolia is itself highly debated and no known vetulicolian fossil is known to have possessed limbs or tendrils as Orthrocaris has, so this affinity also remains entirely speculative. Said limbs most resemble the scourges of Cambrian legless arthropods like Leanchoilia. If recent genomic studies turn out to be true and Deuterostomia is indeed not a true group, then Orthrocaris may be the descendant of some unknown basal group of the alternative chordate-protostome clade Centroneuralia. In other words, it could, in a sense, literally be the ancestor of all groups discussed. Perhaps it could even be the result of some hybridisation accident, back in some dark Cambrian days when the genomes of all the phyla were still similar enough for such taxonomic bastards to come into existence.
Regardless of its classification, contact with Orthrocaris should be avoided at all costs unless one is properly protected. Although the organism is only as large as an index finger, the bite of some individuals is lethal. Not because it is venomous. For some unknown reason, the saliva of the organism carries a prion inside it. Prions are misfolded proteins, which can cause other proteins to misfold in the same way, allowing them to pathogenically reproduce almost like viruses. There is no known treatment method for prion diseases, so 100% of all infected end up either dead or severely disabled for life.
Like mad-cow-disease, the Orthrocaris-prion is neurodegenerative, meaning it attacks the human brain. It can lead to insanity, followed eventually by brain-death. Some infected have been reported to have escaped their containment and in a mad rave wandered out into the island, only to return days later, with almost no scratch on their body. The animals on the island (who seem to be immune to the prion) show no interest in attacking infected humans. Most shockingly, those patients who escaped without a protective mask on suffered no ill effects from the island’s toxic spores. It seems almost like a sadistic twist that only this disease grants humans the ability to survive on Ryl Madol, but at the price of a short life of insanity. The Headtakers, never too fond of outsiders, have by now discovered the disease’s cause and effect and weaponized it. Using the snake-like glottis in their lower jaw, Headtakers are capable of using blowpipes. When they are feeling especially sadistic, they will carry a leathern waterbag full with little, living Orthrocaris with them, remove the “fish’s” tiny arms and shoot them through the pipes at the necks of unsuspecting humans.
The most bizarre aspect of the prion is just how it cripples the brain. In most cases it mainly affects the areas responsible for language processing, making the infected eventually incapable of talking in coherent words or sentences. Instead, they all start spouting completely unintelligible gibberish. However, all those infected speak the same gibberish and seem to be able to understand each other to some degree, while suddenly incapable of understanding their healthy colleagues. In the early stages of the disease, before they lose the capability of speech completely, they can be heard in their quarantine cells seemingly conversing with each other in undecipherable but still distinctive words and phrases like “Oadriax!”, “Dilzmo!”, “Cordziz”, “Agtoltorn parach asimp!”, “Pappe hasatan, pappe hasatan aleppe” and “Rahel mai ameche zabi almi”. I imagine this must surely be of interest for neurolinguists, but they have not returned my calls.
